*click*

"The recorder is on, Mr. Du. You may begin your statement."

"Um, okay. What, eh... What was it I had to talk about, again?"

"Please narrate yesterday's events as clearly and accurately as you can."

"Right. Piece of cake. So, like... okay. Well, yesterday, uh, yesterday was the second day on the job for me and my partner Alfhild..."

"Please refer to your appointed partner through her registered codename only."

"BURN. Her codename's BURN. 'Cause she BURNS things. Mine's SNAP, 'cause I'm fast. Yeah, we're both puns waiting to happen... Erm, I guess that look means I should stick to the point, eh? Joke. That was a... *cough* Anyway, the day before yesterday 'Burn' and I got cleared at Mayor Campbell's office after they did a psychological evaluation on us, and then we were all set to go out and defend the citizens of Thunder City, right? Only our first fight with supervillains kinda sucked. For us, I mean.
"They were just kids, from around our age. One called himself The Vertigo Man (that's pretty self-exaplanatory), the other was a guy who could transmute elements (or at least that's our best guess), and the third was a chick who could... uhhh, drive cars, as far as we know. They were obviously new at this, but they totally kicked our asses. We went through four years of training before we could become Licensed Superpowered Protectors, but that day we acted like amateurs..."

"You were asked to narrate yesterday's events, Mr. Du."

"I was getting to that! Sheesh... So, the next day we were pretty bummed over losing our first fight, you know... Obviously. That afternoon, we were in the middle of our first meeting with the local contact the Big Boys appointed to us, Steven R..."

"*sigh* This is an official statement, Mr. Du. Please avoid referring to the organization we both work for through nicknames."

"Wha? Oh, you mean the Big B... The Strikeforce. Okay. So we were meeting our local contact to our bosses, The Strikeforce, when we heard an explosion about 15 blocks from where we sat. We got there as fast as we could (which is VERY fast, in my case), and we realized a department store had been taken over by someone. I went in through the front door and search the first three floors only to find out they were completely empty. When I got to the fourth, I found 200 or so hostages frozen in time by, uhhh, a guy called Martin. Martin froze me too there for a moment, but I managed to..."

"Where was your partner at the time?"

"Oh, right. Her. Well, she got into the building through the fifth floor, using a... jetpack... then she survived a big explosion using her fire-manipulating powers, and she snuck downstairs to help me snap out of Martin's influence, while he was away. Anyway, back to me, when Martin came back I fooled him into thinking I was still frozen and kicked his ass. I made him unfreeze the hostages and run away like a little girl. I hope you got that part, cause he really, you know, he was running and waving his arms in the air like he..."

"We get it."

"I coulda caught him while he was running, you know, but I let him get to the roof because Burn was there waiting for him. She tried to keep him in line by surrounding him with fire, but the guy was just insane, he jumped through the flames and didn't care that he was burning himself alive. He musta been using his time-stopping powers to freeze the burnt parts of his body, but still, he looked like a walking corpse. Eventually he collapsed and Al... and Burn asked me to go to the Hospital and get some doctors to help him. I took the doctors there and they told me to take everyone back to the Hospital, so I did, and stayed there talking to cops. Then Burn and I got back to our apartment, said goodnight, and went to bed. The End."

"Thank you, Mr. Du."

"What? No questions?"

"Not at the time, no. You may leave."

"Are you sure? I thought this would take longer!"

"Well, uh... if you wouldn't mind..."

"Mind? I got all day, dude. I had to give away basketball tickets to come here."

"To be perfectly honest, there is a question I've been meaning to ask you, Mr. Du..."

"Shoot. I got nothing to hide."

"What's it like to be The Swift's son?"

"..."

"I have... all his comics. Even before supers came out in the open in the 90's, I knew he was real. He's... my hero, I... People would call me crazy for believing in capes, but..."

"..."

"I actually got this job hoping to meet him one day, even though... he was retired by then, but I always hoped... and now that you're here..."

"..."

"I still have my Swift memorabilia collection... I had to sell most of it on eBay, but I still got... I have the conmemorative plate, and the undies... I was hoping you could get him to... maybe..."

"..."

"...just a little signature, nothing..."

"..."

"..."

"You may leave."

"Thanks, dude."

*click*