RKMBs Forums .::Important::. RDCW Scammiversary

"Faded" plays as Joe Mama makes his way to the ring, mic already in hand. He pauses to admire one fan's "MisterJLA Sold Out!!!" sign, then take a Sharpie from another fans and scrawls "Paul Mandral" across the "MisterJLA". That finished, he enters the ring.

JM: Captain Sammitch, I was all set to gloat over the way Havok ended last week. I had a whole speech prepared describing what you had to look forward to tonight. But a little something happened over the course of a week. Y'see, I was watching tape of our matches, and most of the others that you've been in. I studied hours of footage to find any common thread in your matches that would give me a better insight into beating you. I paid special attention to our Best Of Three Falls series, the greatest set of matches you ever had! And do you know what I discovered? Do you know what every damn match you ever fought had in common?

The Champ points at the crowd and turns a slow circuit around the ring.

JM: These people. In every match you've ever been in, you've gone out of your way to acknowledge the crowd. It never mattered if you were fighting one-on-one against some jobber, defending a title, or fighting to win the most prestigious belt that this promotion has to offer. Every damn time, you just had to play up to the crowd. And, last week, your opponent walked into the ring, looked you in the face, and then played you like a common rookie. Did you REALLY think I'd graciously hand you MY title - the Heavyweight Cheese Championship that I have bled for, the belt that I made great - and let you give these peons some kind of photo op? Did you honestly believe for a moment that I'd belittle this belt, myself, and everything I've ever fought for so that you could live some childhood fantasy and get your picture taken by these people? Did that REALLY run through your mind???

The fact of the matter is this: you need these fans. You need their cheers. You need the pops that they give you. You desperately crave their love. And THAT is the crux of why you will lose tonight, and why you aren't fit to be the Heavyweight Cheese Champion. You need this belt because, in your mind, it seals a covenant between yourself and the sheep that pay to see us. If you hold this title, then the fans just HAVE to love you! But let me tell you a secret. Let me pass along a lesson that you've avoided for so long. Come a little closer...

The camera pans in closer...

JM: Sammitch, these fans? They don't give a damn about you. They never have, and they never will!

The crowd, for the most part, is alternately booing and chanting "Cap-tain Samm-itch!!!" Joe Mama surveys the crowd, grinning and nodding. He almost seems to be soaking up the fans' reaction.

Monroe: That's crap! These fans love Captain Sammitch!

Marcum: I dunno, Monroe. These fans aren't as loud as they usually are...

It's true. The majority of the fans are lustily booing Joe Mama, but not nearly everyone. Quite a few aren't reacting at all, including the one with the MisterJLA sign that the Champ "corrected".

JM: You hear that? Do you hear these fans? They're not booing because what I said was wrong. Some of them do genuinely support you. But there are a LOT of people out there booing because what I'm telling you is the gospel truth and they don't want to own up to it. They don't want you to stop playing up to them. They still want to be recognized. They like that they have enough control over you that you'll always beg for their cheers, their pops, their love! But have no illusions, Sammitch, once they get tired of the same ol' same ol' from you, they'll toss you aside the way they tossed aside PenWing and the Triple Set and MisterJLA and the IV and every other wrestler who ever enjoyed the adoration only to stand, bewildered, the moment the love disappeared. At some point, the guy they loved for his Stairway To Hell victory will become the guy who won that match by dodging wrestlers instead of giving 100% and taking out one of his opponents along the way. And when you stop being the babyface champion of fairplay and "doing your best", and start being thought of as soft and complacent and redundant, these people will turn on you lightning-fast. Ask Chris Oakley or Pig Iron. Oh wait, you can't: one's out of wrestling and the other's dead!

Sammitch, the minute you start listening to everything these fans tell you...the moment that these people dictate your actions and your career, you're dead in the water. Do you think, if people like Nowhereman and Doc and Louie Bastardo acceded to these fans' every wishes, they'd be in the first Hall Of Fame class? Do you honestly believe that Doc Paragon pays attention to even ten percent of what he hears or reads from them? NO!!! That's the point, Sammitch! That's why they're the best! Because they heard the cries and demands of the RDCW fans and did what they knew was right! And do you know what happened? The fans ate it up! Oh, there were plenty of times that they booed their black hearts out. But you know damn well that they paid their admission the next chance they got. They tuned in the following week without fail! And WHY? Because they loved to hate those people! Because they were dying to see what would happen next! Because the truth is, they don't even want what they demand from us! They want what we give 'em: the spectacle and the risk of injury...they want us - ALL of us! - to sweat and bleed and cry for their entertainment. They're no different from the crowds that packed the Coliseums and watched as gladiators destroyed each other for no more than their Emperor's thumb raised in their favor.

And, eventually, Sammitch, they'll deny you that love you need so bad. Sooner or later, you'll look up, waiting for those thumbs to raise. And what will you do when every thumb in the arena in point DOWN at you? What is your plan for the day that the fans stop buying your act and the SAME DAMN MATCH every time you enter a ring?

That's the difference between you and I. Sure, I acknowledge the crowd. I'll occasionally interact with them and sign their crap and take a picture with them. I know the game...how to make them love you just enough to buy your T-shirts and pay-per-views. But I know the truth about these fickle fans. That's why I'll never be the face that you are. That's why I'll never be too good to lay out some chump with a steel chair or a baseball bat. IT'S WHY, IF I'D BEEN IN THE STAIRWAY TO HELL MATCH, THAT - WIN OR LOSE - I'D HAVE EVERY OPPONENT'S BLOOD ON ME AT THE END!!! These fans eat up everything I do, and everything I say! Do you see anyone making ANY move to leave their seats???

The camera pans over the crowd. Some people are sitting in stunned silence. Some are still booing. Others are cheering. But no one is leaving.

JM: Whether I'm Heavyweight Cheese Champion, or not even in the title hunt, these people hang on every word I say. I'm one of the guys who carries this promotion because I don't need these people to motivate me. I don't depend on their love and adoration. I'm gonna do what I want to do when I want to do it and these fans will love every moment, whether they admit it or not. The only thing that motivates me is this title belt, and that's EXACTLY the way these people want it.

I'm a CHAMPION, Sammitch. You're a CHEAPION. Deal with it. Learn from it. You can argue my points or agree in hopes of appeasing me, but everyone - ESPECIALLY these fans! - knows what I'm saying is the truth! And remember this: At the height of the RDCW's popularity, it was the Bastardo Family who held most of the titles and packed asses in those seats, not the Sudden Death Connection. You guys were made by these fans and raised by these fans because they needed a faction to run counter to us and feed their own egos and hubris! Once they stop needing you, Sammitch, they'll toss you away like some broken toy. And what will you do then?

Joe Mama takes another moment to soak in the crowd reaction.

JM: Class dismissed, Sammitch. See you later.

"Faded" starts up again, and Joe Mama casually drops the microphone. He walks out of the ring and up the ramp, barely acknowledging the crowd, snubbing the love AND the hate. He doesn't look back as he gets to the top of the ramp...without pausing, he walks out back.

Monroe: Strong, terrible words from the Heavyweight Cheese Champion, Marcum.

Marcum: I...I don't know what to say. I feel like someone's punched me in the stomach.

Monroe: There's no way Captain Sammitch doesn't respond to that...that tirade! The fans love him and he loves these fans! There's no way he lets those comments stand. The only thing those comment will do is fire the challenger up!

Marcum: But, Monroe...he wasn't wrong. Nothing Joe Mama said was a lie...even Sammitch has to know that. That's the worst thing...Jesus, Monroe, Joe Mama just poisoned this entire arena...