Monroe: “ Hmmm, Marcum apparently we have a special investigative report coming to us from one of old, dear friends.”
Marcum: “Old, dear friend? Hah, sure, Mikey, surreee…”
Monroe: “Back from a long abscence. Havock’s….. (interrupted).”
Bukake: “Havok nummer one announcah Buckakie….with a speciar lepolt for Scammivelsely. Bukacce once wondeled….why Ghost Hog and Schwalz so crose..why they look so famiriar….Bucace think to serf *srap to head* you big dummery it rookin’ at you in face…light in face. Amenernesia. Let’s go see Ghost Hog to leveal my crues.”
Bukake knocks on Ghost Hog’s door… “ Go away”. Knocks, again…”Go awwwaaaay.”
B: “ He prenty angily.”
Ghost Hog opens door…
Ghost hog: “Hey, I know you….your that funake guy.”
B: “Bukaki.”
GH:” Whatever, whadda ya want?”
B: “ I come to show you this crip to see if it make any sense to you…it make none to me untir I see you and Schwalz togethel.”
GH: stares at Bukake…..
B: “ I show…I show…no hit…”
Shows GH the video screen…
B: “Ghost Hog, do you lemembel this flom 12-13-05. Lorr that crip.”
Monroe: “ A blast from the past…”
“Countdown to Armageddon” begins playing over the Cheesedome loudspeakers.
Marcum: “Psycho has entered the building. I wonder what he has to say…ooh, Schwartz wearing short shots…whoah.”
Monroe: “Well, the crazy pig clearly has some explaining to do after the last Havoc and that miserable display where he and SPAMM needed to be saved by Schwartz.”
Pig Iron escorts Schwartz through the ropes and enters the ring.
Pig Iron: “I’m glad SPAMM got to speak a little this week. I know you all missed him last week. He clearly has some pent up frustration he’s going to work out in our match. SPAMM has pretty much summed up my thoughts on the tag team match upcoming, so I think I’ll ramble on a little about something near and dear to my heart.”
Marcum:”He must be talking about Schwartz.”
Monroe: “No, he said ramble he’s going to talk about…”
PI: “Paragon, so you’ve come back from hiding in your hole. But let’s leave Captain Sammitch out of this. It’s fairly clear by now that the Dark Lords will have to take out the SDC once and for all to get to you--the little Paragon puppets that they are. Last week I came out flat, and SPAMM gave his all. I was outwrestled and outclassed by 2 punks that should’ve been handled with ease. It’s a great thing that the Schwartz is with me. I am truly honored to have such a whoayyaahh in my corner.”
Crowd pops as Schwartz raises her nightstick.
PI: “Two punks that play with 20-sided dice beat us, or me. I am ashamed, but here comes redemption. Here comes Tag Team Turmoil. The wooaayyyaaaahhh of painnnnnn will be coming for redemption. Tag Team Turmoil: SDC, TNR, and the Bastards. Clearly, the Bastards have worked out something with Paragon to get two slots. But I’m not here to bitch; I’m a real man of darkneeessssss. I see a day of reckoning coming soon Paragon, a prophecy I see clearly. A day of awakening is coming to the RDCW, and you will face the Dark Lords, and especially me.”
Monroe: “Nuts, completely nuts.”
Marcum: “Schwartz has that effect on everyone Monroe.”
PI: “The prophetic powers of the Pig of Iron will be followed by a revalation of paaainnn, Paragon. Paaaaaain, delicious paiiinn will be delivered in doses unheard of in RDCW history. You will be dealt with soon Paragon, your manipulations will end, your scripted wrestling, and your legions of puppets will be lined up and executed by the Dark Lords. Your puppets are with you…this I see. But the Schwartz is with me, Chesty is with me, Harley is with me, SPAMM is with me, Darth is with me, and Grimm is with me. I stand with the greatest assemblage of power and perfection of wrestling seen in the annals of RDCW, Paragon. And when I say annals I don’t mean what you have going on with Sammitch in your private room backstage at the Cheesedome. A prophecy has been set in motion Paragon, and it was set in motion by you. It starts at Tag Team Turmoil and will end with you, served up and sacrificed to the gods. The eternal battle of steeellll begins now, the battle begins anew, and the waar continues. The glorious war against Paragon, and I will be the instrument, Paragon. The Whooaaayyaaahh off Paaaainnnn will end your rule of villainy, and the RDCW will be reborn—in the image of the victors.”
Marcum: “Whewwww.”
Exit music
Fade back to Bukake*
B: “ See, seee….you not Ghost Hog…You Pig Ilon. You must have lost memoly after that match where we thought you dead…”
GH:” What, what in the hell are you talkin’ about Buttkaki?”
B: “ Well, how you know Schwalz then if it not tlue?”
GH: “ It’s not Schwarz it’s Schwartz…”
B: “Exacely. Everyone get hel name wong, they get my name wong, they get youl name wong..you not ghost hog…you Pig Ilon.”
GH: “Whattareyou talkin’ about Bukasti? I’m not Pig Iran…I’m Ghost Hog.. (interrupted..)”
B: “ No, not Pig Ilan…Pig Ilon..”
GH: “ Yeah I said Pig Iran….and I’m not him. What are you deaf?”
Slams Bukake into locker…looks ferociously at him and throws him to the floor…. GH sits down.
GH: “I can’t remember…I’m not Pig Iran..I’m Ghost Hog. Schwartz, Schwartz where are you when I need you? Why can’t I remember……dammnit. Bitter Punkass Tim…I’m coming for you….I’m coming for you and redemption…Pi……Ghost Hog is comin’ for you, and nothing will stop me.”
Bukake lies on the floor….
B: “ Havok nummah one announcah signing off for the Scammivsaly..back to you Malcum…”
Monroe: “Thanks, Bulkaki. What in the world was that and what does it mean..”
Marcum: “ That was the strangest thing I ever saw….well, one of the strangest there was this one time…….”
Fade out****
