Friday.
Day of the party.
You know, the one in our apartment complex? Geez, do try to keep up, willya?
According to Alfhild, going to the party would be doing "something normal for once". I'm not sure why I feel like those words will come back to haunt us. Maybe I've just watched too many sitcoms. Or maybe it's the fact that we're both metahumans, and we tend to attract unwanted attention. And I'm not just talking about a band of supervillains falling from the sky and taking over the party... It's been almost 20 years since metas came out in the open, but there are still "normies" who feel offended by our existance. How dare we desacrate the genetic code! Bunch of microbiological hooligans, that's what we are.
The party is gonna take place in the football field-sized clearing in the middle of the apartment blocks, right next to the pool. Back in highschool, I'd be all pumped up for a night like this. Right now, twenty minutes before the party starts, I'd be drinking with my friends (I'm sorry, my "homies"), working up the nerve to jerk around and hit on girls later on. There's no drinking or excitement going on right now, at least not in this apartment. I'm just not interested in getting to know my neighbours, a bunch of middle aged fat guys from what I've seen. I don't like the prospect of hitting on soccer moms, either, which is what I'm gonna have to do if things get too boring. Really, I'd rather stay home and play Mario Kart, but Alfhild thinks we should do this, so...
I drop by Alf's room to see if she's ready to walk out to the party, and I catch her actually looking at herself in the mirror. She's not putting on make up or arranging her eyelashes or anything like that, but still... CREEPY. Maybe I was wrong about the "no excitment going on in this apartment" part...
"Hoping to bring a lady home, are we?" I tease. And then I just gotta drop this: "If she gives you too much trouble, you girls can knock on my door and we'll..."
She hesitates for a sec, as if she was having trouble figuring out what I'm talking about. Then she looks disgusted, so I'm guessing it finally hit her. "Thanks for reminding me why I play for the other team, Will. If I do meet someone but she's straight, I'll introduce her to you."
"Sweet!"
She sighs. "...I meant that you'll turn her gay, Will..."
"Yeah, I got that the first time. H-O-T-T! Then you'll owe me, and we'll all..." Hold on a second. Hold on a damn second.
"Will, are you okay? You were talking and then you--"
"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"
She waits for me to catch my breath to say anything. "What's... wrong?"
"I just realized something!" I say with a little difficulty, trying not to break into laughter again. "Your name is Alfhild, which is kinda like Alf, and, and... and Alf ate cats... and... you're a lesbian..."
She picks up her jacket and walks out the room. "Took you a while to figure that one out, huh?" she says, under her breath.
"Because, because cats are also named, heh... pussies, and that's... and that's also how... I mean, that's... and lesbians, they..."
She peeks her head back into the room. "Yes, I got it the first time, back in my Senior Year. Now, you wanna leave my room, or should I kick your ass? Party's about to start, anyway..."
"Yeah, about the party... I'm not sure I wanna go." I'm gonna go anyway, of course, but I'm just making it clear to her that I don't want to. So, you know, she feels guilty and stuff.
"Come on, don't pus-- eh, bail out on me now. It'll be fun," she says, walking back into the room. "We'll meet people, mingle around... It'll help us become a part of this micro-society."
At this point I make myself look hesitant, so she keeps insisting. "Eh, I still don't know... We don't know anyone here! We'll bore ourselves to death."
"I e-mailed Larry and TC about this, so maybe they'll drop by later... Besides, we have to stop being the 'new guys' here at some point, Will. We're both painfully aware of the benefits of integration. It's always valuable for our kind not to be singled out, wouldn't you agree?"
What's next? Oh, right. Three seconds of reflexive silence. One. Two. Wait for it... "All right, what the hell..."
We head out to the front door. That went well, I think. Now, if the party goes wrong, I'll pin it on her and she'll feel guilty for a month. Maybe I could get her to do my laundry... But I'm getting ahead of myself. Let's see how it goes first.
"You ready?" she says, her hand on the doorknob. "Sounds like they're getting started out there."
"As ready as I'll be."
She opens the door, and... we see 10 or so of our neighbours holding a giant sign that says 'WELCOME WILLIE AND ALFELD'. The rest are all looking at us, as we stand on the doorway of our apartment, unable to react. Euphrates is standing in front of the people with the sign, with a huge cigar in his mouth. When he begins to clap, everyone else follows.
I turn to look at 'Alfeld', who has suddenly turned red. "Gee, I'm so glad we're not being singled out..."
