<We are taken somewhere else backstage, where The Crotch awaits with Captain Sammitch...>

The Crotch: Captain Sammitch, Joe Mama just fired another shot in this war of words, and it was a pretty impressive one. Do you have anything to say in response?

Captain Sammitch: I will say that Joe is a pretty talented talker. He seems to have his side of the story ready to go at the drop of a hat, and he’s apparently hellbent on having the last word in this thing. I don’t think that he’s been doing much listening, though. Because if he truly understood my words, he would have saved it for the ring instead of taking another step out onto a very shaky limb and trying to make me doubt myself and doubt everyone who’s supported me.

TC: So you don’t feel you’ve been hypocritical in the way you treat your fans?

CS: Joe Mama measures everything other people say by the standard he lives by. In his mind, allowing room for anyone else is compromising one’s self. That’s why he was always the Lone Wolf, and even when he did successfully team with people, it was ultimately his way or the highway. So I’m not really surprised when he can’t equate my acknowledging my supporters with my statement that the fame we receive for doing what we do isn’t the single most important thing to me.

TC: Is it?

CS: As I said, I have always valued the fans very highly. If it weren’t for them, this business wouldn’t exist. But while I value their applause and their approval, I’m more satisfied just to know I’m able to impact these people in a positive way. Though I’m a bit puzzled by Joe’s repeated allegations that I’m somehow limiting my own abilities on account of the crowd. How? I’m the number one contender for the title, aren’t I? I’ve won every other belt available to me at the time, haven’t I? Maybe he’s just convinced, again, that his way really is the best way to go.

<Sammitch looks into the camera...>

CS: Or maybe, if the truth were known, it rankles him that I’ve been able to win so many matches and beat so many opponents fairly, without having to do “whatever it takes to win”, which I guess would really mean “whatever it takes for him to win”. And even if I hadn’t enjoyed the success I’ve had, I would still choose to fight my way rather than his, just because that’s who I am. He thinks I’ve got the wrong idea of how to fight, simply because it’s not his idea of how to fight.

TC: How do you feel about the champ accusing you of piggybacking off of the negative publicity that wrestling has been receiving recently?

CS: Now this is dangerous ground to tread on for either of us, because by questioning things that may be wrong in this business, you’re calling into question entire systems of things and people. And a lot of people tend to get nervous when you call into question systems on which they depend for their livelihood. I’m not suggesting that the RDCW is riddled with all the same problems as other wrestling promotions out there. If it were, we wouldn’t have beaten every other wrestling promotion that ever challenged us, and that goes to show how far out of their way Doc Paragon and the others at the helm of this promotion have gone to set the RDCW apart.

<Sammitch looks away for a moment...>

CS: But the business as a whole has exhibited more than a few problems in recent memory, and there are two ways to deal with them. You can choose to let the system do its thing and hope the elephant in the living room will go away on its own – or at least cut you the odd endorsement check every now and then – or you can choose to be a positive example in spite of what’s going on around you, and show the supporters of the sport that there’s still good in it, and that if they just keep hanging in there they can hope to see a lot more of that. I think I speak for a number of wrestlers in this and other promotions when I say I prefer the latter option, and I think acknowledging our responsibilities as performers hardly constitutes capitalizing on troubled times.

TC: Thank you, that was well said. But what about the match tonight? Aren’t you at least a little intimidated by Joe Mama’s statements? He says he plans to...

CS: ...shatter the delusions I’ve been living under? Break my spirit? Break my body? I have no doubt that Joe Mama can and will inflict a great deal of pain on me in tonight’s match. I’d honestly be disappointed if he gave any less than one hundred and ten percent, since he always does, which is what made him a champion and makes him such a worthy adversary. But it’s one thing to deal out physical harm and another thing entirely to crush one’s spirit, to break one’s will.

<Captain Sammitch shifts his weight back and forth as he looks into the camera intently...>

CS: I know firsthand that Joe Mama is capable of breaking my body, though he’ll definitely have his work cut out for him if that’s what he has in mind, since I didn’t come here to roll over and give him an easy title defense. But for all the times he’s tried, he’s come a lot closer to breaking my body than to breaking my spirit. And if the closest he could get to breaking my body was sidelining me for a few weeks, what makes you think he’s got what it takes to overcome the will that’s propelled me this far? It’s clear from his reply a little while ago that Joe Mama thinks I’ve got some kinda gall to say the things I’ve said. And yet he expects me to quake in my boots over what he says when, in reality, he’s just tipping his hand that much more?

TC: Tipping his hand? What do you mean by that?

CS: Joe Mama’s the RDCW champion. He’s the one to beat. Now, as one on top of the totem pole, he should know that his every action – and reaction – are scrutinized that much more carefully. A calm, confident champion who thoroughly outclasses his opponent should feel no need to address that opponent’s ‘delusions’ or to repeatedly insist on his own supremacy. By now, though, it’s obvious to just about everyone that I’ve gotten to the guy. There’s nowhere more vulnerable than right at the top, and who would our champion hate losing to more than me?

TC: So what are you going to do in tonight’s match, then?

CS: I’m going to go out into that ring and I’m going to be myself. I’m going to lay it all on the line and give one hundred and ten percent – my way, not his way. Even if I lose, I’d be losing to the best there is. But I don’t plan on it. I’ve come this far being myself, giving my very best, and with the help of many wonderful fans. It’d be a shame if I didn’t have that belt to show for it, wouldn’t it?

TC: Before you wrestle tonight, there will of course be a match featuring your long-time tag partner Chewy Walrus. Is there any chance we might be able to speak with him?

CS: You’re hoping to get something audible out of Chewy? \:lol\: Good luck on that one. I’m sure he’s somewhere around here, getting loosened up for tonight’s victory.

TC: Did you say tonight’s victory? \=O

CS: I’m feeling pretty confident about this one.

TC: But what about the injuries Balls Nasty inflicted on...

CS: Oh, those? You mean the injuries it took several hits against an opponent totally at unawares to inflict? Rest assured that Chewy’s fully recovered, and now that they actually have to go toe-to-toe on even terms, my money’s on the Walrus for sure.

TC: You saw Balls Nasty’s statements earlier this evening. Aren’t you afraid of what his ‘surprise’ for Chewy might be?

CS: Intrigued, yes. Afraid? Not really. Chewy Walrus is a supreme competitor, and it would take one hell of a surprise to stop him. Besides, there are two kinds of dirty fighters. There are dirty fighters like Balls Nasty, and there are dirty fighters like Joe Mama who actually have something to show for it.

<Captain Sammitch turns and leaves the room...>

TC: Back to you, guys...