RKMBs Forums .::Important::. RDCW Havok-Gauntlet for the Gold

"Faded" plays as Joe Mama makes his way to the ring. The crowd is decidedly mixed, though the boos outnumber the cheers. He stops in front of a teary-eyed woman holding a sign that says "Ban Joe Mama! Sammitch Is A TRUE CHAMP!!!" and looks at it for a moment before snatching it out of her hands, pulling a Sharpie pen out of his pocket, and writing across it. He holds it up to the camera, smiling, and then hands it back to the woman - he's autographed it and written "We all destroy our heroes!" As the woman yells at him, Joe Mama walks away, chuckling.

Monroe: Very funny...that's just how a Champion should act!

Marcum: That's hilarious! It's funny cuz it's true!!!

Joe Mama grabs a microphone from the announcer's table and enters the ring.

JM: Before I discuss my match against Captain Sammitch, I want to address something that happened just a few moments ago. King Snarf demanded a title match and was refused by Doc Paragon. Now, I'm a fighting champ, and I don't back down from anyone, so I decided to see about making this match happen. Not because I think he's anything more than a glorified jobber, but because I want to show my appreciation to you fans by making him quit the business...just like I made Captain Sammitch quit.

The crowd is a mix of cheers and laughter that slightly drowns out the boos.

Marcum: See that? Joe Mama is a brave, GENEROUS, fighting Champion! And who says he doesn't give these fans what they want?

Monroe: Just shut up, Marcum...

JM: The problem was, getting that match was easier said than done. Just watch!

The Cheese-O-Tron comes alive with footage of Joe Mama walking into Doc Paragon's office, carefully stepping over the printout of the match ratings, and shutting the door. The camera picks up the muffled sound of conversation, and then:

Doc Paragon: Get the hell outta my office!!!

The door flies open and Joe Mama backs out, hands up as if trying to calm Doc Paragon down. A binder flies at Joe Mama's head, which he ducks to avoid. The door slams shut. Joe Mama picks up the binder and flips through it.

JM: Hm...the ratings were no worse than every other Snarf match...

CUT TO: Another office, this time the sign on the door reads "Championship Committee". Joe Mama walks in and shuts the door. There's more muffled talking and then the room erupts in laughter. The cameraman opens the door and enters the room. Joe Mama is standing in front of the Championship Committee, looking a bit put off. Most of the Committee have fallen off their chairs, laughing. Some are wiping tears away. A few have visibly wet themselves as they laugh.

JM: Seriously, people. It could be a good match! IT COULD!!!

CUT TO: A door with a sign - "Rob Kamphausen: RDCW Chairman & Owner...AND HOW!!!" Joe Mama stands in front of the door. He looks back at the camera.

JM: OK...last chance to make this happen...

He opens the door, saying, "Look, Rob, we gotta talk..." but he stops short. He looks a bit shocked.

JM: Um...okay, Rob. Never mind. See ya, Rob...um, hi Snarf..."

He shuts the door and walks away, looking slightly ill...

The screen goes blank and the crowd is mostly laughing...

Monroe: That's obnoxious! There's no way any of that was real! There's no way Rob and Snarf...

Marcum: That's too much even for me...funny, but

JM: So, Snarf, as you can see, unless you worked some serious magic on Rob...and it looks like you did, there'll be no match. Sorry, pal! I tried. But let me talk about Captain Sammitch...

First of all, let me hear some applause for all of you who wanted to see Captain Sammitch go upside my head with my Heavyweight Cheese Title and win our match!

The applause is damned loud.

JM: Okay...now let me hear from all of you who were happy to see him put that belt around his waist and pose for all of you...

The applause is slightly louder than the previous round. Joe Mama is nodding.

JM: That's right, keep clapping. I want all of you to hear yourselves as you watch this:

The Cheese-O-Tron comes alive again with a shortened version of Captain Sammitch walking out of the ring and leaving the arena (set to the Walk Away Theme from The Incredible Hulk.). The applause dies down and gives way to a lot of booing and chants of "Sammitch!"

JM: That's right, people! Why aren't you still cheering? You people ARE the reason Sammitch lost that match and left the business. If you could ease up on your impossible demands, Sammitch would've listened to his TRUE fans, taken me out with the belt, and tonight HE'D be Champion! But because of you hypocrites, who sold him out for a cheap pop, Captain Sammitch is gone...never to return! So cheer for yourselves! Let me hear hear you cheer and chant the name of the man you all destroyed!

Monroe: This is despicable, even for Joe Mama! How can he blame the fans for...?

Marcum: He can because it's true! They cost Captain Sammitch the Heavyweight Cheese Title and ran him out of the business with their hypocrisy and demands!

JM: You fans enjoy the rest of the show tonight! Enjoy your Sammitch-less RDCW! You wanted it, you created it...and you damn well DESERVE it!!!

"Faded" starts again and Joe Mama takes a moment to bask in the fans' boos and chants. He brings his hands up to his eyes and mimes crying, then busts out laughing and leaves the ring. He leaves the ring area and goes out back.

Monroe: That was disgusting...

Marcum: