RKMBs Forums .::Important::. Fortress of Awesome Chat [i]I have a dream...[/i]

No, it wasn't vivid. It was a shitload of blurbs, one interacting with the other. Confused the fuck outta me.

I think the 'dogs' part had to do with Taxi -- I woke up with her on my face, she must have flopped over while I slept. ...she's a good-smelling kitty. Brandy, the dog, smells bad, she needs a bath. But Taxi doesn't get into anything, she can't. So she just has her natural smell and it's nice.

Well, your dream was still muy interessimo.

I don't recall a lot of it but i had a oddly hawt dream about my doctor. she short, ass is no bigger than a house cat and her giggle makes me giddy like a school girl with wet panties all i recall was a smear and a postage stamp. tomorrow i'm calling and switching jews to continue this enjoyment.

ha... what the fuck does that mean?

One should not switch jews in midstream.

Okay, weird dream again. First off it was me and Tank Girl and Barney (from TG comics, not the dinosaur) hanging out. But then it turned into oht lesbian porn between me and TG, and then she started making out with Barney and I got pissed and left for a baseball game (don't ask me, I hate baseball) as a mascot. The other team's mascot picked a fight with me and I kicked his ass, three times, but then he ended up shooting me in the leg and so I shot him in the skull with his own gun. Then I made my way through the stadium and found a room with little black/asian kids celebrating Easter with eggs and pinwheel-lollypops. Then there were giant candy hearts (with the words) decorating the ceiling. After a bit, Steve Urkel came in and lavished Laura (who had been otherwise unnoticed in a corner) with Valentines Day gifts. Then my dad came to get me, but instead of my dad it was the dad from Family Matters. He helped me get my shoes back on (I was shot in the leg, remember?) and some cheeky boys tried to steal some of my trousers (I had extra pair laying around). Then we were heading back to our vehicle but were stopped short by PUPPIES! Lots of puppies that were wiggly and cute and we played with them for a bit and the guy selling them snapped pictures of us with them, so I tipped him $5 (but the bill was printed poorly and I later suspected it was a fake) and we left. I was joking around with my sister about the puppies and then as we reached the van (our old Ford Club Wagon 8-seater from when we were growing up) Tank Girl and Barney came back over, only TG was a gal Jessie I know from school and Barney looked like one of Son Of Mxy's avatars. Jess interrupted my sister's joke to tell one of her own and I made her stop so Julie (my sister) could finish her joke first. That totally killed the mood and neither of them finished their jokes. TG/Jess tried to make out with me again, but I was still unhappy with her for fucking with Barney, so I walked off.

I think that's about it.

she fucked Barney the dinosaur! I thought he was gay!

it isn't funny when I already addressed the issue.

I'm redundant....it's part of my schtick. Please pay attention.























reax.

I dreamt that George was driving off in a car and I had a broken car, and a lady told me she'd fix the engine for free, and she did but I paid her for the repair job, and went off in pursuit of George, but he kept turning into side streets and I lost him.

I guess it just isn't my time to find him yet...

gay

Go fuck a woman,gay beard!

That would make him straight.

and Joey would not want that.

Last night I dreamt I was at a table in a .. place ( Restuarant? Bar? Could not tell. ) with two older men.

I was saying that I can't believe I am 50 now, and the one guy said, " Try being almost 67. "

The other guy smiled but said nothing.. he was obviously older than the guy who spoke to me.

So being 50 is no big deal. Just another number.

The one I just hate is when I'm just an actor on a strange television version of my life. Have you ever had that dream?

the wierdest dreams i have are when i have the same dream more than once. and even in my dream i acknowledge to myself that i have had this dream before. wierd.

I have had the same dream several times. It's always the same. I'm far away from home and I'm living with someone in a very small place. I don't have any of my toys, cars, books, etc, and I miss them. My cats are missing, too.

I'm not happy about all this and I try to call someone to talk about it but I can't reach anyone. I haven't had this dream in a few years, though.

it's not the having the same dream that is wierd. it's still dreaming and in my dream acknowledging that this is the same dream i have had before and remembering what happens and is going to happen is what is weird

Most of the time in my dreams I seem to be a helpless observer, unable to stop or change what is going on in my dreams. To be able to take control of your dreams is called " Directed Dreaming. "

I would like to do that just once.. and if I could, I bet I could do it in any dream I had.. so could you, Tim.

Anybody could if they worked at it.

But it is damn tough to do.

i do quite abit. the few dreams i do remember, most of them involve that to some degree.

I have had dreams so vile and full of despair that no one would want to read about them.

I have had precognitive dreams in astonishing clarity and detail that predicted with frightening accuracy events that played themselves out in my life either days or years later.

Almost no one except the very few who know me best believe in them.

I sincerely doubt anyone here would want to read about those.

Well, that's never stopped you before!

heh

Last night I dreamt I saw a big dog attacking a baby duck. The baby duck then turned into a puppy. It had huge bite marks on it and I felt sorry for it. I picked it up and yelled at the owner of the puppy.

" Look at this poor puppy! He's in bad shape! How could you let this happen? I'm taking him to the vet right now!"

The man just laughed at me and told me there was no puppy and what the hell was I talking about?

Before my eyes, the puppy just vanished... faded away.

I remember thinking I was going to adopt the puppy if he lived.

Is that fucked up enough?

You are old, have a beard, like man sex with negros, like Star Trek, smell of cats and talk shit.
You do not need to be any more fucked up.

Last night at WORK there was more fucked up shit, dumbass.

Yes because you were there!

Uschi am real man.

I had a dream last night about being in some backwater fucked little house with my brother-in-law's family. There was some creepy pervert that lived there before, who was dead, and left all his stuff. So I stole his after dinner mints and condoms. My brother-in-law's mom was suspicious of me and wouldn't let me alone, even when I had to go potty. I watched some imaginary Batman comic stories (from a previous dream, about four years ago) animated on teevee for a while, but the millions of dogs in the house pissed me off too much. So I went outside to the back porch and there was this gross guy there, modeled after the wanker that delivered our dinner order to the clinic last night. I decided to be friends with him and started banging out a drum beat on a rusty bit of metal something, and he played guitar. Everyone was gathered around digging the music until someone said, "Why are you letting her touch those?!" Turns out the rusted metal was infected with some sort of maggot/worm and they burrowed into my skin and were greenish blue and I had to rip them out with tweezers, or they would stay under my skin for 43 years. And I could feel them moving under my skin (they moved fast!) and it was so creepy.

I had a dream this morning. It is the most fucked up dream I have had in years.

I dreamt I paid $1000.00 to go to a convention at a hotel where they garantee that everyone there will meet the love of your life or your money back.

It turns out that my roommate is a big black guy who appears to be in his early 60's, with a hot gym body, and a neatly trimmed grey beard. He has no shirt on and he is hot!

I go over to him and tell him he's beautiful, and that I want to make love with him.

He smiles and says, " Go for it, baby."

I'm about to put my hand on his muscular chest when a bigger, even more muscular
black guy who looks to be in his 50's with a grey gotee and shaved head strides quickly past me, beats me to the punch and begins making love with the older guy, who moans in ecstasy and they kiss and caress each other.

I walk out of the room, down the hall, and walk past another room where I see another hot black man wearing nothing but a pair of blue speedos.

He beckons to me with his index finger. I walk to the door, but a big burly man behind me pushes past me, goes into the room and closes the door.

I stand there for a few moments, listening to them making love before I decide to stop torturing myself and move on.

I walk past yet another room; a big, burly black guy who appears to be about 70, with a smooth, stocky, beefy body and a snow white, well manicured gotee beckons to me to enter his room.

He is naked, his dark brown skin glistening in the reflected light of the hall lights.. his room is unlit.. I walk slowly towards him, but only after I check to make sure that there is no one else behind me, or beside me..

He's playing with his ample uncut cock there, as he says, " Come to daddy, baby.. I been waiting for you." in a low, deep voice.

I'm almost there. It's tough walking because I forgot to bring my cane.

Just then, a big, hot looking Ernest Hemingway type guy who is also naked just seems to appear out of thin air and gets to the hot guy a second or three before I can.

I try to get away before they can close the door in my face, but one of them asks if I can get them both a soda before I go.

I ignore their request.

The rest of the weekend is the same, except at the very end, I am sitting in this ginormous dining room, similar to the one in the Harry Potter movies.

Everyone is gathered there for the farewell luncheon.

The man who is running the event asks if we all had a fantastic time, and if we are all happy with the new man in our lives.

Everyone shouts out a resounding " Yes!!" ... except for me. I yell " No!! And I want my fucking $1000.00 back!"

Just then, the man who is running the show.. a tall, thin, distinguished older man in his 70's in a three piece beige suit with longish white hair and a bushy white beard, standing at the heaed table says, "Uh oh! We have two men here who are still single. Let's get them together, shall we?"

Just at that moment, a tall, muscular black guy in his late 60's appears.. he has a white goatee and is wearing a t shirt that says " I'm the daddy." and is wearing a very tight pair of 501 jeans walks towards me..

He smiles.. the wrinkles on his aged, kind, dark, smiling face looking like a map of his life and emotions.. he approaches me... I start to think, " Finally! A man who wants me!", when he walks past me and kisses this equally tall and muscular white man who is about his age with rugged good looks who is clean shaven.

They make out, one of them gives the thumbs up and the announcer says, " THat's it! Everyone here found a man! Thank you and God bless you, everyone.. and Happy Holidays to all!!"

There is a thunderous applause.

I walk through the huge, tall double wooden doors to the giant size dining room, feeling very dejected. It is cold and snowing outside now.

A man in his 60's, black with a grey beard, and stocky body walks quickly towards me.

" I want you, Jerry! I do! Wait right there!"

He is in a park that is near the hotel I was just leaving.

That is when I see my father, who pulls out a gun and shoots the guy right between the eyes. He falls dead a few feet before me.

" I told you, son.. being gay is sick! Thus shall perish all your would be lovers.. by my righteous hand!" he informs me, gleefully.

He laughs, and walk away. I look down at the body of the dead guy, his brown eyes open and staring at nothing, the light gone forever from them.

A penguin runs up and starts nipping at my ankles, and that is when I woke up.

God I hate being single at this time of year..

Uh....

I agree with whatever Uschi will have to say about that...

She will probably say she hates me and I ruined her thread, and then she will turn into a penguin and nip at my ankles

Uschi will never turn into a penguin. She doesn't like Linux.

Heh, okay.. then she'll probably use her Wonder - Uschi powers to turn into a 50 foot woman and throw a 2008 Dodge Ram quad cab truck on me and squish me.

I thought something similar - I can't wait to see what she has to say...