*Balls Nasty is standing in a training area backstage. He's wearing a karate gee. Instead of the black belt being tied, it is kept together with a giant, gaudy belt buckle. He is also, clearly, wearing cowboy boots. In front of him stands two Japanese men. One fairly old, the other in his twenties. Next to Nasty is a skinny white guy with a peach fuzz mustache and a NASCAR t-shirt.*

SWG: Okay, Balls, here he is. This is Yasuhiro Gima. He was the choreographer for the Louie Bastardo Productions presentation of a Louie Bastardo Film, Louie Bastardo's A Christmas Ninja. He also stood in for Jacob Marjuro, the ghost assassin.

BN: Oh yeah, I remember that one. That's where his ghost hand went into that guy's chest and he pulled out his lungs.

SWG: Yeah, that's the one. And this is his assistant. They're here to help you to get ready for Jade Dragon's karate mojo in tonight's match by showing you some of the basic moves and how to counter them.

BN: Well, let's get this started.

YG: First, we shall show you how to counter a punch with a simple toss.

*The assistant tries to punch Yasuhiro, who deftly moves out of the way, grabs his arm, and uses his body as leverage to flip him over to the ground. Yasuhiro then simulates a quick punch to the chest*

YG: Now, you try.

BN: Alright.

*The assistant tries to punch Balls. Nasty side steps and grabs the guy's arm. Nasty then slams a forearm into the guy's face, picks him up, Samoan drops him, and then begins raining punches down on his face. Skinny white guy and Yasuhiro stop Nasty.*

YG: No, no, no. Let's try something a little simpler. How about a simple leg sweep.

*Yasuhiro demonstrates a leg sweep with his woozy assistant and then motions for Nasty to duplicate. Balls walks up. The assistant is a little jumpy. Suddenly, Balls jabs a thumb into the assistant's eye and then hits a running bulldog.*

YG: No, no, no, Mr. Balls. That is not karate at all. Now, please, pay attention. I will now show you how to do a flip.

*Yasuhiro stands in front of the assistant, who is still rubbing his eye in pain, grabs his collar, falls back while bring up the foot, and uses it to flip the assistant over. When Yasuhiro signals for Nasty to try, the assistant begins to shake his head and argues in Japanese. Forcefully, Yasuhiro gets his assistant to stand in front of Balls.

Nasty grabs his collar just as Yasuhiro had done earlier. His foot began to come up as his body moved backwards. Instead of duplicating the move, Nasty kicked the assistant in the stomach. As the man doubled over in pain, Nasty pulled him in for a pile driver. Yasuhiro's assistant laid motionless on the mat as Nasty got to his feet.*

BN: Hell, this martial arts bullshit ain't that hard.

Marcum: Did you see that?! Balls Nasty mastered Karate in less than three minutes! I hope Jade Dragon saw that. Now he'll realize how terrible of a mistake he made when he went up against Balls Nasty.

Monroe: We'll be right back, ladies and gentlemen.