I have this buddy who is quite the douchebag. as kids he once dared me to stick a wire hanger up my nose to see if it would bleed. So I did and it did. Now about this time my parents came home and ask what the hell I'm doing. "She's trying to give a bugger an abortion!" Man...that was rough cause my parents aren't pro choice.
anyways, I'm on the road heading off to Ontario and my phone rings, before i even get the chance to say hello I hear this douchebag yelling. "HEY! Shannon! Just got a new roommate and she's HAWT! She's a lesbian but I totally have a shot!"
So I see this as a glorious opportunity to pay him back for all this shit he's done. "dude! you can totally turn her! seriously!" So I come back home and have drinks with these two. She gets shitfaced and admits taht she's is not a lesbian she is in fact a hermaphrodite. So i'm sitting across from my douchebag buddy just enjoying this moment of him trying to fuck an man-woman, but i'm still next to the hermaphrodite. yeah..you'd think God would provide those questions in that chronicle head of yours just in case, just in case you ever met one.
like you'd be able to say something clever like "uh, i bet gym class was a bitch". NO! the questions you SHOULD never ask a hermaphrodite just come shooting outta my mouth. - can you jack it off? - do you have balls? - can you tuck it inside? - which hole do you pee out of? - is it circumsized? - are you really sure its not a huge clit? (you never know i've seen movies)
those of you who are with me are with me, those of you just sitting there are looking at me like you;re watching a porno with your parents.
what does a hermaphrodite do? they can't do guys cause they got the...and girl cause y'know. and they can't do gays cause they got both and i'm sure that's really confusing. so do they do each other? like other hermaphrodite. i know thats like all kinds of sweet. its like a plug-in. that's ten ways to heaven. two of them meet at a bar. plug it in plug it in! ah i wan't a dick-poon.
Her name is Amanda. what kind of dick-poon parent names their child Amanda? It already has enough problems why not name it Dickpoon Weiniepuss. You're a parent and you got your heart set on Amanda. hermaphrodite kid comes poppin' out. or make it funnier. make the first name man, last name da and the middle name sor.
And, to be fair, one of my favorite friends there is blind and I take every opportunity available to make fun of that and we're still friends. That guy never fit there. He never got the spirit of the RKMBs. We're gonna keep an eye on the obits, see if he finally left or if he really did have a heart attack. 2,506,410.81 CAD Rack points
