I thought of another one:

Six-String Samurai.
Now this was a movie made on the cheap, an "instant cult classic," if you will. But it had so much potential to be the greatest thing ever, and I just find it slow and irritating.

For those of you who don't know the story, the Russians dropped a nuclear bomb on us in the '50s, turning the U.S. into a vast wasteland with the last refuge of civilization being the kingdom of "Lost Vegas," where Elvis was crowned king. Years later, Elvis has died, and every musician, warrior, and bandit is making their way across the desert to become king of Lost Vegas.

Our hero is Buddy, a guitar-shreddin' swordsman who has seen better days. He wears a black suit, black and white wingtip shoes, and glasses with black rectangular frames. [cool] Essentially, he dresses like I do. Of course, he also carries a beautiful hollowbody guitar slung over his back, and a samurai sword. He is your basic wandering adventurer, a masterless samurai, long past whatever glory days he once had, on his way to Vegas for one final shot at glory. (And he is supposed to be Buddy Holly.)

Along the way, he rescues a kid who is THE MOST ANNOYING KID EVER IN ANY MOVIE, beating out Jake Lloyd in Phantom Menace. The kid can't talk, so he only makes loud and obnoxious wah-wah sounds. And the two of them travel together the rest of the way. Along the way, Buddy fights a gang of evil bowlers (played by amazing Russian surf band The Red Elvises, who also did the soundtrack), grunting cavemen, spooky astronauts, a 1950s sitcom-style family who happen to be cannibals, the ENTIRE Russian army (no joke!), and Death himself, who appears as a black-garbed heavy metal guitarist, a la Slash. In the end Buddy confronts Death in the ultimate duel of heavy metal and sharpened steel, and only one can survive.

There are some decent fight scenes, and Jeffrey Falcon, who plays Buddy, could be decent in a similar role in a better movie. The soundtrack by the Red Elvises is outstanding, particularly the opening track "Love Pipe." And as a wannabe rockabilly guy complete with sideburns, bowling shirts, and two-tone shoes, the movie has a lot of really cool elements that appeal specifically to me. It is a post-apocalyptic rock-n-roll martial arts fantasy adventure, but despite all that, it just isn't that good. The pacing is terrible, the lack of a budget shows in every shot, and that little kid makes me want to stick a pencil into my ear. At best, this is a mediocre Japanese anime come to life. At worst, it is a shitty student film (even though it played in several festivals). But it could have been the next Army of Darkness... and that would have been a good thing, trust me.