and this one time, when hitler makes puppies with Edna Purviance, I totally jerked off and cummed all over my dvds
You have a penis?
Will you marry me?
oi. can someone send these fruitloops a memo? goddamn, I'll do it myself.
Hi, I'm Uschi, your singin', strummin' hermaphrodite. I have a championship-winning cunt with teeth and a nasty case of gingivitis. She doesn't like to be brushed and spits at me when I try. People call her the Sarlacc Snatch. I also have a left nut. This testicle is larger than your head, swear to god. I have a vast collection of detatchable penii which I routinely use to fuck people to death. Some have razors. Some vibrate. There is a small emo boy living inside my ass. If you happen to have any glass bottles or aluminum cans, please shove them up my ass so Steve can return them for 5 cents. I have an elephant fetus embedded in each of my melon-sized breasts, and I like to take turns with my sister, shoving a watermelon into my rectum. People I'm currently crushing on: Kwink. people I'm currently the victim of a barrage of love poems and marriage proposals: everyone else. welcome to the club of people that adore me.
