Originally Posted By: look_at_me_i_am_evil

 Quote:
oi. can someone send these fruitloops a memo? goddamn, I'll do it myself.

Hi, I'm Uschi, your singin', strummin' hermaphrodite. I have a championship-winning cunt with teeth and a nasty case of gingivitis. She doesn't like to be brushed and spits at me when I try. People call her the Sarlacc Snatch. I also have a left nut. This testicle is larger than your head, swear to god. I have a vast collection of detatchable penii which I routinely use to fuck people to death. Some have razors. Some vibrate. There is a small emo boy living inside my ass. If you happen to have any glass bottles or aluminum cans, please shove them up my ass so Steve can return them for 5 cents. I have an elephant fetus embedded in each of my melon-sized breasts, and I like to take turns with my sister, shoving a watermelon into my rectum. People I'm currently crushing on: Kwink. people I'm currently the victim of a barrage of love poems and marriage proposals: everyone else. welcome to the club of people that adore me.


LOOK ITS CAPSLOK!

LOOK ITS COMICLASS!

Old men, fear me! You will shatter under my ruthless apathetic assault!

Uschi - 2
Old Men - 0

"I am convinced that this world is of no importance, and that the only people who care about dates are imbeciles and Spanish teachers." -- Jean Arp, 1921

"If Jesus came back and saw what people are doing in his name, he would never never stop throwing up." - Max von Sydow, "Hannah and Her Sisters"