quote:
One minute, eleven seconds. Morning after I got drunk the first time.
When I was young, there used to be this children's television programme called 'Record Breakers'. It was hosted by Roy Castle, who was also a jazz musician and used to close every show by singing a song called 'Dedication' which ended with him playing a trumpet solo.

Roy Castle's co-host was a man called Norris McWerter, who was involved, in some way, with the Guiness book of records. Whenever somebody attempted to break a record on the show, Norris would be there to adjudicate. One time this fat kid tried to break the world record for the biggest bubblegum balloon. Unfortunately the gum caught on the zipper of his top and exploded in his face.

Anyway my point is, unless Norris McWerter, or some other representative from the Guiness Book of Records, was present when you took this One minute, eleven second piss, your record means absolutely nothing as there is no one to corroborate your claim.

It's like someone in a bar bragging about the time they caught a really big fish or insisting that they had sex with three supermodels in the same evening.

So let this be a lesson to you. Next time make sure someone's in the bathroom with you.